What a clumpse

Sigh! What an idiot I have been... I went for an interview with the hope that I can get the job and finally get a change in my working life but I spoilt it with my pure stupidity and clumsiness. I even tot I will get the job. Putting such high hopes, talking and telling my friends about it. Asking for advice on the new job etc. And finally I waited in anticipation for a phone call from them telling me "Congratulations! You've got the job!" But to my alas, I didn't get any calls from them. I was thinking to myself maybe they found a more suitable candidate considering it is all Bumi's in that company. Maybe I didn't give them a good impression. Thinking that I am not comfortable working for a Bumi company. Or have difficulities mixing around with people. Maybe it's the impression when they ask me whether i will be able to work well together with other races besides my own. Sigh....all the maybe's. But then it din really dampen my spirit that much considering I didn't get the hope as in they think I am not a suitable candidate.

But, the whole world crumbled down on me yesterday! Maybe not crumble down but it's as if all my hopes just went down the drain. I received a call from the company and the gal on the phone told me that I left my files of original certificates at their office. OMG! I can't imagine my forgetfulness and clumsiness. How can I forget my folder and worse thing was I didn't even know that I lost or misplaced it. Damn! What if i were to go for an interview and I search high and low for it but I still can't find it. I will panic till my heart stop beating. How hard will it be to get back all my original certs. Sigh! I really feel damn sad. I suppose that was the biggest reason that the company didn't even want to employ me. If i can forget to take my file what else if during working time. I feel as if i could slap myself a thousand times or just bury myself deep down somewhere because of my stupidity. How am I ever going to get a good job like this. Am I going to get stuck in this place forever? I want a new change & challenge. I hope for the best but then all just doesn't seem to fall into place. I feel so down in the dumps that I cried myself to sleep last nite. Well, practically forced myself to though cos I hope to get it out of my lungs and heart.

From this, I told myself that I want to focus more on what I am doing. Told myself never to repeat this ever again. Start applying for jobs with new hopes and maybe even direction. Heck! On Monday I will go collect my file from the company which i will never have hope to be there anymore. And start going for more better interviews. God, please help me in this. Your guidance is my motivation to find a more suitable and better job. Amen.